Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
