it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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