Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
