OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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