i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
