i just made my gag reflex go away.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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