Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
