zippers are such a cool invention
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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