belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
