I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
