he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
