absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
