i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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