I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
