Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
