If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
