when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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