ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
