I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
