even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
