You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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