I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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