Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
