i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
