My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
