Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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