wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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