Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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