dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
