Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Hippo gnu deer
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
