Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
