I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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