no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
