WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
