i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
