porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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