Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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