so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
