You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I AM VODKA MAN
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
