let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
