So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
