He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
