I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
