Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
