I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You need a sexual gate keeper
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
