We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
