I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
