Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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