somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
