I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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