I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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