I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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