I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
